THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 


Destiny  and  Desire 


Destiny  and  Desire 

Poems   Passionate 
and  Perverse 


By  Mary/and   Watson 


CASINO  PUBLISHING  COMPANY 

116  WEST  THIRTY-NINTH  STREET,  NEW   YORK 

1908 


Copyright.  1908. 
by  Caiino  Publishing   Company.  N<w  York 


PS 


TRYST 


I  AM  waiting  here  for  you. 
_  Every  drop  of  blood 
1  hat  pulses  in  my  heart 
Is  a  flaming  torch  to  light  your  way— 
Lover  Lad,  with  your  Irish  eyes, 
How  well  I  know  just  what  you'll  do. 
Still — I  am  waiting  here  for  you. 


TODAY 


'OMORROW'7 

And  Lave  you  the  patience  then  to  wait  ? 
God !  my  lips  cry  for  the  kisses  that  are  mine, 
And  not  tomorrow  do  I  want  them,  hut  today. 
For  who  knows  if  tomorrow's  sun  shall  shine 
Or  \vhere  we  two  shall  he  who  lived  today  ? 
I  want  to  watch  the  last  sun  die,  satisfied. 
And  never  know  the  torture  of  that  cry, 
"Oh  God  !  I  wasted  yesterday  and  missed  my  fate  ! 


PROMISE  ME 


DEAR,   you  promise  me  with  truth. 
Like  a  burning  pure  white  flame. 
That  your  life  shall  be  mine 
As  long  as  love  is  wortby  of  its  name. 

But,  dear,  life  is  not  always  sunshine. 
The  fire  of  love  fades  on  the  primrose  way. 
And  hearts,  though  meaning  to  he  faithful. 
Are  fated  to  grow  tired  of  tne  play. 

You  promise  to  guard  me  from  life's  sorrows, 
Xo  shield  me  from  tne  nours  of  sad  regret ; 
But,  dearest,  God  alone  holds  that  power, 
Though  your  love  will  help  me  to  forget. 

Do  not  promise  me  the  things  that  are  heyond  you. 
For  humanity  at  best  is  sadly  frail. 
But  promise  me  to  share  the  heights  we    can   reach 
And  to  share  compassion  for  each  otber  if  we  fail. 


11 


IMMORTAL 


COLD    blows  the  wind  of  chilling  doubt 
And  fans  the  dying  light  that  was   my  love 
Into  a  blaze  of  angry  flame. 
An,  God,  why,  if  Love  may  die, 
Should  Jealousy  and  Doubt  forever  live, 
To  keep  a  -wretched  tryst  within  my  heart 
At  the  mention  of  a  faithless  -woman's  name  ? 


13 


MOON  SONG 


A  WOMAN  rests  within  my  arms, 
Her  eyes  heavy-lidded  as  from  languorous  sleep, 
Her  red  lips  pulsing  -warm, 
Tremulous  her  voice,  her  kisses  sweet. 


opal  tints  the  moon  flings  down 
A  shimmering  garment  thin  as  air 
That  falls  across  the  splendor  of  her  form 
And  twines  its  jewels  in  her  misty  hair. 

Her  heart,  the  home  of  Passion  s  god, 
A  palpitating  mystery  of  thrills, 
Beats  close  against  my  breast 
Its  every  throh  an  answer  to  my  will. 

The  warm  red  hlood  that  gleams 

Through  the  naked  heauty,  'neath  its  veil  of  gold, 

Tells  the  wondrous  secret  of  her  dreams 

\Vhich  end  in  savage  love 

The  craving  of  my  soul. 


15 


LOVE'S    METAMORPHOSIS 


IF  I  could  walk  down 
This  -worn  old  patn  witli  you, 
I  tmnk  its  every  turning  would  seem  new 
To  me  —  and  yet  I  know  it  so  ty  heart, 
Tnat  every  pebble  seems  a  part 
Or  some  dear  memory. 


17 


HONOLULU 


r  OCKED  in  the  arms  of  the  ocean, 
•*— '  Lulled  by  its  passionate  song, 
Kissed  by  the  brazen  sun, 
\Vooed  by  tbe  truant  moon. 
Flirting  witb  eacb  like  a  light-o'-love. 
You  radiant  warm  Quadroon ! 

Fire  and  night  in  your  beauty, 
Flowers  clasped  to  your  breast. 
Flaunting  your  charms  with  wanton  grace 
Xo  sailor  lover  or  soldier  rover, 
Forgetting  in  turn  eacb  mad  caress. 

Though  your  tears  may  come  in  a  golden  shower 
At  the  faithless  love  of  the  clay's  gay  noon. 
You  are  faithless  yourself.  Little  Isle  in  the  ocean 
Gay  little,  sad  Quadroon. 


19 


LOVE'S   BLINDNESS 


I"  O  VE  came  to  ber 

J-^  Like  a  wondrous  sbadowed  wraitb  of  spring 
And  wrapped  tne  world  in  a  mantle 
Of  trembling  delights. 
And  tne  days  might  come 
And  tne  nights  each  go 
For  Christ!  she  loved  him  so 
That  nothing  mattered  but  the  crimson  flame 
And  all  the  world  grew  dim. 

High  above  her  Heaven  and  her  God, 

She  placed  her  love  for  him, 

And  yet  he  never  knew  Love's  name. 

For  the  little  uncontented  thing  he  called  his  soul 

\Vas  just  too  small  to  know 

That  a  -woman's  heart  might  break  for  mm — 

Yet  Cbnst!   She  loved  bim  so. 


21 


DISCONTENT 


WHY  cannot  I  look  mutely  into  the  coming  years 
And  still  the  insistent  longing  to  he  free. 
Forget  there  are  path-ways  over  dim,  far  hills. 
And  ships  a-sailing  over  new,  strange  seas  ? 


23 


THIS    QUESTION   I  FLING 
UP   TO  YOU 


IF,  as  they  say,  You  hold  the  world 
In  the  hollow  of  Your  mighty  hand. 
And  each  life  that  gleams  there  for  a  while 
\Vas  fashioned  and  fated  at  Your  own  command. 

Then  do  I  come  to  You — not  in  prayer 
But  only  as  a  weary  -woman  may. 
And  this  question  I  fling  up  to  You, 
\Vhy  did  You  put  my  soul  upon  this  path 
If  it  was  fate  that  I  should  lose  my  way  ? 

How  could  You  never  lift  a  staying  hand 
Or  still  the  lilt  of  my  heart's  glad  song ; 
If  You  placed  this  passion  in  my  storm-swept  soul 
Then,  God,  why  not  help  me  hear  the  wrong  ? 


25 


CONSENT 


COME  with  me  into  the  mystic  night. 
The  sun  is  lost  across  the  great  divide. 
The  jeweled  splendor  of  a  moon-lit  shrine 
Shall  he  the  wondrous  ending  of  our  flight. 

And  you  shall  tenderly  he  taught 

The  touch  that  waked  your  soul  to  fire 

\Vas  hut  the  answer  to  your  breathless  sigh ; 

My  passion  and  my  strength, 

But  the  fulfillment  of  your  sweet  desire. 

The  crimson  passion  of  your  -warm,  moist  lips. 

The  promise  in  your  darkening  eyes, 

Have  won  for  me  a  lingering  consent 

And  hetrayed  the  secret  that  your  words  denied. 

Ah,  dear,  the  harriers  are  gone 
That  kept  our  souls  from  heing  one. 
Turn  your  face  and  meet  the  storm 
Of  my  love  with  willing  eyes. 

(Continued  on  page  29) 


27 


CONSENT 

(Continued) 


Let  me  see  and  feel  each  thrill 

Xhat  rushes  from  your  heart, 

Lingers  on  your  lips,  trembles  through  your  arms 

And  guides  your  straying  finger  tips 

In  each  wanton   passionate  caress. 

Sweet  woman,  yielding  with  such 

Glad  abandon  to  my  eager  touch. 

This  heaven  -we  have  gained. 

This  ecstasy  of  mingled  love  and  throbbing  pain, 

\Vas  born  in  your  fair  breast 

The  hour  you  chose  your  destiny 

And  answered  fate  with  passion  s  •willing  "yes." 


29 


MAN'S  LOVE 


YOU  gather  a  rose 
And  feel  a  queer,  glad  thrill, 
Because  it's  yours  to  keep — 
Or,  better  still. 

You  may  wear  it  on  your  heart 
For  passion's  one  sweet  hour. 
Ana  -when  its  charm  is  gone, 
\Vhy,  'twas  only  just  a  flower. 


31 


YOU 


MEN  smile  in  my  dark  eyes, 
Some  praise  the  sun-kissed  bloom  upon  my  face. 
Otters  marvel  at  the  beauty  of  my  form. 
Yet  in  my  heart  they  nave  no  place — 
For  to  you  I  owe  it  all. 

You  brought  my  beauty  with  tte  summer  Jays, 
^kVhen  you  lingered  on  tbis  path  with  me ; 
X hen  was  born  the  crimson  flush  men  praise. 
And  my  eyes  darkened  into  pools 
From  passion's  deepest  sea. 

Every  sensuous  curve  that  lures 

All  this  gift  of  witchery, 

Every  sudden  lilt  of  thrilling  song 

Came  to  me  in  this  summer  time  of  mystery ! 


33 


I  WILL  NOT  FORGET 


TNREST  haunts  my  sorrowing  heart, 
^•^    A  chill  phantom  wrapped  in  a  mantle  of  despair. 
That  stalks  across  the  threshold  where  love  had  life. 
And  wakes  the  hallowed  memories  sleeping  there. 

The  vain  night  goes  its  weary  way. 

The  day  comes  crimson-crowned  after  the  gloom. 

And  yet  my  anguished  soul  nor  sleeps  nor  wakes 

At  the  touch  of  cool  wet  dew  or  sun  within  the  room. 

Just  a  lethargy  of  wraith-like  hours 
And  little  crying  sobs  of  piteous  regret 
That  keep  your  dead  love  burning  like  a  flame 
To  scorch  my  soul  and  shame  it  to  forget! 


35 


MAY  BE  A  DIM  REGRET 


JUST  a  moment  of  rapture, 
A  fleeting,  sensuous  thrill, 
A  aoh — and  a  tit  of  laughter — 
Your  strength  and  passionate  •will. 
The  throhhing  heat  of  my  heart 
And,  mayhe,  a  dim  regret. 
That  -we  danced  the  wildest  measure 
Of  love's  sweet  minuet. 


37 


INNOCENCE 


T  AUGHING  lass,  looking  into 

*  *      the  soul  of  me, 
^A^itn  innocent  serenity, 
Does  no  understanding  bring  surmise, 
Or  no  quest  of  love  surprise 
You  into  deep  solemnity  ? 


39 


FAITHLESS  WOMAN  I  LOVE 


GIVE  me  a  rope  of  your  night-black  hair 
To  coil  in  my  empty  hands ; 
1 11  weave  a  chain 
Or  its  wondrous  length 
To  strangle  the  light  from  your  lustrous  eyes, 

\Voman  I  love  with  all  my  strength. 
Treacherous  woman  whom  I  despise. 


41 


A  WOMAN'S  WAY 


HER.  kisses  lingered  on  the  dear  lips  of  a  lad, 
Her  turning  mouth  kindled  all  the  sleeping  fire. 
That  -waited  tut  tne  touch  of  passion's  flame 
To  scorch  his  soul  with  anguish-mad  desire. 
She  watched,  with  half-slumhering  eyes, 
The  torture  of  her  powers  at  their  play; 
Then  gave  herself  with  all  her   passionate  soul — 
And  that — is  a  woman  s  way. 


43 


MEMORIES 


I  HAVE  lost  myself  in  a  dream 
That  holds  your  last  caress, 
Like  the  breath  of  a  flower  s  perfume 
After  the  flower  is  dead. 

The  tones  of  your  voice  in  my  heart 
Are  vihrations  of  deepest  love. 
Like  the  thrill  in  the  strings  of  a  harp 
\Vhen  a  master  hand  touches  a  chord. 

The  kiss  that  you  left  on  my  lips 

Is  a  flame  like  an  altar  light 

That  may  dim  in  the  noon's  white  glare, 

But  scorches  the  wings  of  thought 

In  the  hush  of  the  silent  night. 

Your  love  is  a  golden  loom 
That  has  spun  a  web  of  dreams 
To  cover  the  cold  hare  room 

e  memory  sits   and  -weaves. 


45 


SONG 


E-T  me  look  deep  in  your  sea  blue  eyes : 
Let  me  -warm  your  reel  lips 
\VitK  tKc  passion  of  mine. 
Kiss  you  and  crush  you,  O,  maiden   fair! 
My  soul  aflame  \vitn  its  mad  desire — 
Come,  take  wnat  is  yours. 
You  kindled  tne  fire ! 


47 


DEFIANCE 


OH  God !  why  should  I  grope  my  weary  way 
Afraid  to  firmly  place  my  feet. 
For  fear  of  stepping  on  some  creed  of  Thine, 
Or  breaking  some  command  I  should  obey? 
And  God,  how  couldst  Thou  ]udge  me 
If  I  should  tread  upon  them  both. 
Should  cast  Thy  word  off  and  be  free 
To  walk  erect  upon  the  path  I  chose  ? 
For  it  was  Thou  who  made  me  as  I  am 
And  left  me  with  Temptation  hand  in  hand. 


49 


DIVORCED 


JUST  one  last  tour  of  silent  gray 
Between  the  -wordless  night 
And  the  fading  sun. 
The  clouds  robed  in  a  vestment 
Like  a  still  and  aged  nun 
That  comes  to  pray 

\Vhen  tne  day  is  done, 

i 

The  hour  you  used  to  come  at  candle  light 
And  watch  a  tired  child  at  play 
Then  kiss  its  tiny  hands  and  one  by  one 
Its  sort  white  garments  lay, 
Upon  a  little,  worn,  red  chair 
vVhile  baby  lips  caressed 
Or  murmured  fragments  of  a  sleepy  prayer. 

(Continued  on  page  53) 


51 


DIVORCED 

(Continued) 


You  are  so  far  away 
The  apace  between  us  two 

May  border  on  eternity. 
Your  quick  glad  step 

Never  comes  to  -wake  the  lethargy 
Of  dumb  submissive  pain 

That  lives  like  a  coward  in  my  heart 

Afraid  to  show  its  grief 
Or  call  your  name. 

The  hours  crowd  each  other 

Into  bitter  years 
And  yet  there  comes  back  day  by  day 

The  memory  of  an  agonized  "good  bye. 
\Ve  went  our  unforgiving  -ways 

Our  eyes  scorched  with  unshed  tears, 
Our  lips  a  lie. 


53 


AFTER  OMAR 


OTHOU  wno  woman  didst  devise 
And  gavest  ner  all  tne  passions  of  a  man. 
How  canst  Tnou  in  Tny  soul  despise 
Her  lor  the  weakness  Tnou  didst  plan  ? 


55 


ONE   WOMAN'S    PRAYER 


NO\V,  Christ,  I  am  satisfied  ; 
Every  law  my  nature  knows  is  still. 
Every  cry  my  heart  Las  known  so  long 
Is  sleeping  in  this  hour  I  nave  crossed  Your  will. 

Judge  me  deeply  and  place  upon  my  soul 

A  letter  red  as  scarlet  flame. 

I  ask  no  mercy  at  the  hand  of  God ; 

I  walk  light-hearted,  radiant  in  my  shame. 

Do  not  turn  your  eyes  gently  away. 
Trying  to  forgive  this  one  breathless  night. 
Instead,  listen  to  my  heart's  ecstasy  of  thanks 
That  my  soul  was  horn  to  know  these  God-given 
deep  delights. 


57 


TOO  LATE 


TONG  ago  wnen  life  -was  new 

-L/  And  tne  "little-girl-look" 

Still  lingered  in  my  eyes — 

WLy  did  you  not  come  to  me 

Like  tne  Knight  in  olden  books 

And  make  me  yours 

Before  tne  world  nad  made  me  wise? 


59 


SUCCESS 


SUMMER  breezes  fanned  his  cradle 
(Little  fair-haired  baby  boy) 
Fanned  him  gently  while  they  sang  him 
Joyous,  winsome  lullabies. 
And  the  lingering  breath  of  Genius 
Kissed  tne  baby's  sleeping  eyes. 

\Vhen  nis  -wondering  eyes  awakened 
Conscious  of  tne  sweet  caress, 
He  followed  its  elusive  whisper 
Over  trails  of  dim,  far  Life 
Down  tne  valley  of  deepest  Sorrow 
Around  tne  turnings  of  sweet  Delight. 

So  Genius  beckoned  nim  to  Manhood, 
Gave  him  little,  maddening  smiles 
Threw  him  kisses  along  tne  pathway. 
And  all  a-thrill  to  ner  mating  call. 
He  tore  tne  barriers  down  between  them 
And,  clasped  to  bis  heart 
Sbe  gave  bim  all. 


61 


A  LITTLE  FRIENDSHIP  SONG 


MY  soul  is  all  a-listen 
For  tlie  littlest  word  you  say, 

My  eyes  are  all  a-glisten 

\Vnen  you  smile — 

For  your  friendship  is  a  gladsome  thing. 

That  dearly  came  my  way, 

After  such   a  very  long   and  lonesome  while! 


63 


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